Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Calmer Now
Just knowing that some things are going to get handled today removes a lot of stress I wasn't even aware that I was carrying.  Joey brought me up to date on plans to go pick up stuff last night, and my initial reactions apparently scared her.  I wanted to go over there with a crow bar in my hand, and was thinking this, and she asked me to notice how I start moving when I think thoughts like that.  Apparently I move like a very high level martial artist, fast yet perfectly balanced silent steps, shoulders tensed to be able to throw a maximum  force blow at an instant's notice, eyes lethally focused and looking for any threat, face set in a fully aggressive expression.  I'm not afraid of this guy, and I think he knows it.  Really hates dealing with me, gets the hell out of my way most of the time.  I am not dangerous to the general population, but if you threaten this body or hit a kid in front of me, I will go full psych ward on you! Yes, I am very very protective of children.  I do not like to be touched, but when a little girl ran into me a few weeks ago, the headmates noticed that I didn't get pissed off like I do when an adult accidentally bumps me. Children are still learning their way around this world and can be hurt in ways that they do not understand.

A few lines from a song:
"You think they're joking, you have to go provoking him, I think it's high time you found out." That's from "Half-Jack" by Dresden Dolls. I have been purposely not getting back on the bipolar meds, because I don't want to risk the possibility that they would inhibit me from going full psycho raging if it is necessary. Let the situation clear up, and I'll start back on them the next day.

- Troy


Log in